Category Archives: Hearth, Home and Heart

Rites of Passage: It’s Never Too Late…

Were you welcomed into Adulthood?

Did you receive a ceremony? Had a Mentor? Experienced a sense of belonging to your community as an equal member once you turned a certain age?

Most adults living today haven’t…

When I speak with Jewish folks who had a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, they, too, feel that it was lacking. Most say that learning Hebrew was a task that didn’t relate to their life as an adolescent, and that although they felt honored by their synagogue’s community, their feelings at the time weren’t addressed. Nor were their bodily changes, their hormone fluctuations, their confusion, or their budding sexuality…

Most adults I speak with tell me that their parents, teachers, and extended  community had no idea about what was really going on in their life during adolescence. Desperate acts such as excessive alcohol drinking, substance abuse, or shop lifting — have all gone unnoticed. Sexual advances from a boy on a date, or questions about sexual identity were not on the adults’ radar. Perhaps it is because these were all good students with high grades, that the adults surrounding them assumed all was well.

How can this happen?

How do parents believe that all is well in their adolescent child’s life while all the while their child  feels internally tortured? Why do they think that even though their child doesn’t talk with them, everything is actually fine?

It’s not that we, adults, don’t think of our children. We do, excessively sometimes. We worry about them: about their lack of conversation with us, about their social life, about the grades they bring home, about their future career and prospects.

None of the above meets the adolescent where they are, or truly sees them!

The obsessive thoughts we run through our heads are, lets admit it, mostly about us… Why they wouldn’t talk to us? Are we bad parents? Have we done something wrong? Would they grow up to be professional/successful/married/divorced like us?

We are so busy worrying about how our adolescent child’s behavior reflects on us as parents, on our parenting skills, on our ability to raise young people that would mirror our values to the world, that we forget to see them…!

We mistake Worry for Care…

We confuse our self esteem with theirs, and miss seeing them in the process!

What can we do differently?

As always, we need to start with self exploration, with a deep inquiry into who we each were as an adolescent girl, an adolescent boy, what did we need then from our parents (as oppose to what we need now from our children).

Remember how misunderstood you felt by Mom or Dad? How distant they felt to you? Get into the skin of the adolescent you once were and find out what might have felt better at the time? What could have your Mom or Dad say or do, which would have given you a feeling of being seen, heard, and met?

Then, turn around and give this to your adolescent child!

You will be watering many fruit trees with one watering can!

Your own Inner Adolescent would be soothed in the process; You will stop worrying about your child and start making a real connection; Your child may start feeling seen and acknowledged, and may even begin to think of you as a cool parent! (and wasn’t this what you wanted all along?)

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Rites of Passage Event

Following a Cutting Edge RITES OF PASSAGE Event

DeAnna is offering you support in

 The Art of Welcoming Girls to Empowered Womanhood

 A Tele-Class Starting March 2012

 Click here to learn all about it!

 

DeAnna L’am, (B.A.) speaker, coach, and trainer, is author of Becoming Peers – Mentoring Girls Into Womanhood and A Diva’s guide to Getting Your Period. She is founder of Red Moon School of Empowerment for Women & Girls. Her pioneering work has been transforming women’s & girls’ lives around the world, for over 20 years.

DeAnna helps women & girls love themselves unconditionally! She specializes in helping women reclaim their cycle as source of intuition and spiritual renewal, helps Moms welcome their girls into womanhood with ease & confidence, and trains women to hold RED TENTS in their communities. Visit her at: www.deannalam.com

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Making Valentine’s with Monica Ashley

When Bryles gets home from school today we plan to gather around the kitchen-turned-craft table to create our annual Valentine cards.   I noticed a “mailbox” of sorts is already waiting in his Waldorf classroom to receive his heartfelt creation.  He’ll make one card to place in the mailbox, and his teacher will ensure that each child goes home with a lovely Valentine.

Waldorf classroom Valentine's mailbox

So…what shall we make as the sure to be treasured, single card one of his friends will take home?  What other cards or small gifts might we make to bestow on family members or teachers?  I’ve got a few good ideas thanks to Monica Ashley, fiber artist, doll maker, and craft teacher extraordinaire.  Last week, Monica brought a few gals together to begin our seasonal crafts.  We made traditional cards (as shown above),  but we also made a few less conventional gifts for our sweeties.  Here are some of the wonderful creations that came out of our experience:

Christy wrapped a vintage wooden spool in green flat felt and then a few wisps of wool roving.  Top it off with a Meyer Imports’ mushroom in the holiday color scheme, and she’s got a perfect gift for her wee, fairy loving daughter…

Kosima decided to make another felt fruit item for her kids who love playing “kitchen.”  This time she didn’t use an etsy pattern — she created her own instead.  Making the cherries out of little heart cut-outs, they now will fit right in as a Valentine’s day treasure.

Monica and Annalyce took the time to finish up incomplete projects planned for other holidays.  Remember that Waldorf doll you had wanted to finish in time for Solstice?  What about that gift you were making for a friend’s birthday.  Valentine’s Day (or Easter!) could be your just the occasion you need to light your fire and get the project done.

Surprise! The doll Monica was working on was a  belated gift for Kosima’s birthday.  She was thrilled to take home this adorable little gnome.

Whatever you feel inspired to create, your friends and family are sure to feel touched by your hand made gift.  Get creative and have fun!

More on Monica Ashley

Monica Ashley is a fiber artist and mother of three.  Monica revels in passing along the delight of designing with wool, and offers classes (complete with supplies) to both children and adults through her studio and local crafting stores such as Cast Away Yarn Shop.

Many local families know Monica through her involvement in the Waldorf community where she has served as a homes chool teacher, tutor, and handwork skills instructor.   “Monica is an incredibly patient and thorough teacher.  She is gentle and encouraging – just what I needed!” shares Annalyce La Source.

Meet Monica and find your inner crafter by signing up for her next class at Cast Away:

When:    Fri, March 2, 5:30pm – 7:30pm
Where:   Cast Away Yarn Shop (map)
Description:
Friday Felting for Adults. We will be needle felting animals. You can choose a duck or a rabbit for Easter or any other animal. Cost of $37 includes all materials.

 

 

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Make a “Heavy Baby” with Waldorf Educator Grandma Mary February 12 and 19, 2012

Local Waldorf trained teacher, Mary Bowen, invites you to attend a special doll making workshop February 12 or February 19, 2012.

“Last year I attended a dollmaking class in Santa Cruz and learned to make what is called a “heavy baby”….they are filled with millet and lavender! I am very excited about these dolls!  They are very healing,” shares Mary exuberantly.

Mary’s granddaughter agrees that these heavy babies magnetically call to be held.  ”She immediately adopted the one I made…She carries it all over on her back and front and sleeps with it…”

Adults too can benefit from holding these lovely, soft, and weighty “babies.”  Dolls can offer comfort, create a space for people to show vulnerability, and hold intentions.  (Read more about this concept in Sono-Ma’s interview about soul-filled dolls with Christine Schreier – another local Waldorf doll maker.)

Plan for a day of laughter, story-telling, and old-fashioned hand sewing.  Then take home your own handmade creation, and continue the joy.

“I thoroughly enjoyed your class…what a treat for me. You are like an angel and I hope to have many more interactions with you. When I got home on Sunday I brought the doll into the house in a blanket and my girls fell in love. My older daughter wanted it right away and then handed it to my youngest daughter to hold for a bit. They have been rocking her, singing to her…it’s very sweet. The only problem is that they are having trouble sharing her. They each had one night sleeping with the doll. I am hoping to take another class with you next month.” Cara, former class participant.

Class Details

Date: Saturday, February 12 and February 19, 2012 (This is a two day class.)

Time: 9 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Location: Santa Rosa

Fee: $100.00 including supplies

RSVP: Mary Bowen at 707.542.1523

Further Details: Email Mary at  nurturingarts@sonic.net

Additional Doll Making Classes with Grandma Mary

Mary often offers handwork classes.  Consider hiring Mary to help you and your friends craft a Waldorf doll, doll clothes, wool angels, “boo-boo babies” or other creations under Grandma Mary’s wing.  You’ll have the support of an experienced hand-work mentor who expertly weaves Waldorf parent education into her teaching.  Earning her name as “Grandma Mary”, Mary uses her kinds words, gentle smile, and supportive ear to help you create a beautiful, simple doll while simultaneously allowing you a safe space to explore the challenges of parenting and meeting a child’s developmental needs.

Doll Making Summer Camp

At the closing of each summer, Grandma Mary offers a special doll making camp for children aged 10 and older.  Combining a daily rhythm with time for imaginative play, hand sewing, singing, and playing, Mary gently guides children in bringing a traditional Waldorf doll to life while developing strengths such as self confidence.  The week-long experience culminates in a sixth day celebration designed for the whole family.  This celebration includes clothes making and a birthday party for the dolls.

See a previous summer’s brochure here. Be sure to let Grandma Mary know you’d like to be on her list for this summer’s potential camp by emailing her here.

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